Before I realised what date this is, it's Easter Sunday and coming to the end of the month. Time flies... in stealth mode, often realisation comes too late; even in regrets and sighs. Regrets for the numbing schedule and routine I long to break away from and reach for a different level, sighs for the fatigue and the seemingly difficult reach to do more - go further - get closer. And it does feel as real as unreachable. Does growing older mean lesser energy? At the moment I'm still prodding this over, like I'm yet to be totally convinced of my standing at this point. Hah, nonsensical question? Well, when you're my peer and over and doing what I'm doing or want to do, you would be asking this too. I am tired and drained but I want to go on... and more! That's why I need to think this over. I can't do without focus.
But my gut feel says nope, the older I get I should be more efficient and I know I can be what I want to be in God's might. So it's time for an internal healthcheck - heartscan by the Lord: there has been a build up of friction through circumstances and people which is slowing my down. It's time to let go and let God - calls me to remember this Easter's message - the prime focus is the Lord Jesus Christ and no other. That's what's draining me : circumstances in my life that seeks to take my eyes off Christ - as I write, my heart seems to pinpoint the helplessness I feel within me when the decision belongs to another and all I could do was to offer advice, prayer and hope they will cope and overcome. Funny to know how things can get to you when it happens to people you love. It's the helplessness I need to deal with, for I am used to exhaust what possible means to get things done and not being able to do much about it really stuffs me. I'm feeling helpless over issues which it's alright to be helpless about because I am limited in what I can achieve. These moments of reminding myself what I had known makes me feel like a tape recorder. And I need to remind myself. By the time these thoughts slide through my fingers, I already feel lighter and better about myself.
I am grateful, truly in God's light we shall see light.
27 Mar 2005
20 Mar 2005
More than a conqueror
"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Youth meeting today was power-packed as people were hungry and excited for God. From the prayer meeting through worship, right till the end of the service the presence of the Lord was strong and many hearts were touched and ministered to. It was a refreshing visit of God into our sanctuary, a moving one. None were able to resist His stirrings and His love. Once again God showed Himself strong for His righteous. It is indeed a memorable day.
Most of us are tired and worn out but most of us enjoyed the meeting. There was unity, sharing of joy and laughter, acceptance and love. It was a different sort of meeting. People on fire for God. Somehow when our hearts are filled with joy, tiredness is not an issue. Right until the end of Sunday worship practice at 7:30pm people are still sticking by me, supporting me all the way. Where else can we find such edification apart from the house of the Lord?
Most of us are tired and worn out but most of us enjoyed the meeting. There was unity, sharing of joy and laughter, acceptance and love. It was a different sort of meeting. People on fire for God. Somehow when our hearts are filled with joy, tiredness is not an issue. Right until the end of Sunday worship practice at 7:30pm people are still sticking by me, supporting me all the way. Where else can we find such edification apart from the house of the Lord?
19 Mar 2005
Test of willingness
What was learnt was tested. Talking about walking the second mile for the whole duration of the youth camp and since day 1 we were tested. Heart-titudes was the issue here. Glad that we passed the test. Many challenges were wrestled head-on with a winning attitude, which kept me energized throughout except for some days when I was totally exhausted physically due to my health condition. All in all, we have travelled more than 1,000kms to do service in these 5 days. But gladly so we did, believing that the Lord has our reward at hand.
I am truly honoured and grateful to be ministered to in this camp. God once again has shown His faithfulness in our lives in amazing ways. Not only He provided our financial need, this time we get invited to Australia for a conference. If this is truly His will, we'll be flying off in three weeks time and it's exciting. God had never failed us. Again and again I see His word come to pass before my very eyes and there's no denying about it. Grace is truly amazing.
I am truly honoured and grateful to be ministered to in this camp. God once again has shown His faithfulness in our lives in amazing ways. Not only He provided our financial need, this time we get invited to Australia for a conference. If this is truly His will, we'll be flying off in three weeks time and it's exciting. God had never failed us. Again and again I see His word come to pass before my very eyes and there's no denying about it. Grace is truly amazing.
13 Mar 2005
contentment
Godly contentment is great gain. One of the scripture verses I have familiarised myself with and was brought back to memory today as the sermon touched on Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me." Instanly I recalled the year 1999-2000 which I experienced rapid growth as a young Christian, hungry and grateful for teaching on God's word. I remembered poignantly how much I took it to heart to remind myself daily to be contented and thanked God every moment of blessing or challenge, plenty or lack. It kept me humble and made available plenty opportunity for thanksgiving, which deeply edified my spirit. Surely it had kept jealousy and envy at bay, as I keep count of God's mercy and favor upon my life, fear and despair had no room to creep in. There was hope, dependency and severity to grow.
Today as I reflect on this word again, I have found a new meaning attached to it in the dictionary. Indeed I am well acquainted with contentment as in satisfaction, but today I noticed the second meaning to contentment is "the willingness (to do)". Hence, Philippians 4:11 would add to my understanding this light of view in my paraphrase "... for I have learnt in whatever state I am, to be willing" - which enables me to connect to what is in Paul's mind when he was conveying to us about his lifestyle and ministry. This makes sense to me now of how I am forfeited from the joy that satisfies by the unwilling attitude I had been displaying in certain situations especially when I am inconvenienced, insulted, unappreciated. The lack of willingness removes the sincerity of service which really, only God can see through the polite gestures and the normally accepted behaviours. What I am learning today is that purity of service comes from a contented heart that is willing to receive God's will above circumstances. Heart-titudes, takes more muscle to work out than plain talk and understanding. Again and again I come back to this conclusion regarding service and loving God: No matter what stage of experience a person can possess, it is the heart condition that matters.
Today as I reflect on this word again, I have found a new meaning attached to it in the dictionary. Indeed I am well acquainted with contentment as in satisfaction, but today I noticed the second meaning to contentment is "the willingness (to do)". Hence, Philippians 4:11 would add to my understanding this light of view in my paraphrase "... for I have learnt in whatever state I am, to be willing" - which enables me to connect to what is in Paul's mind when he was conveying to us about his lifestyle and ministry. This makes sense to me now of how I am forfeited from the joy that satisfies by the unwilling attitude I had been displaying in certain situations especially when I am inconvenienced, insulted, unappreciated. The lack of willingness removes the sincerity of service which really, only God can see through the polite gestures and the normally accepted behaviours. What I am learning today is that purity of service comes from a contented heart that is willing to receive God's will above circumstances. Heart-titudes, takes more muscle to work out than plain talk and understanding. Again and again I come back to this conclusion regarding service and loving God: No matter what stage of experience a person can possess, it is the heart condition that matters.
9 Mar 2005
Milestones
An interesting comment I read from John Maxwell's Leadership Wired today goes like this: "ideas are like soap bubbles floating in the air close to jagged rocks on a windy day."
Let's face it, we're pros in procrastination and experts in forgetfulness, I have done myself in many many times just to wonder and puzzle over "what was that idea I had that day?" and then conveniently forget that I had ever been concerned of my fleeting carelessness. Many days had seen the sincere attempts to remind myself to jot down thoughts and ideas I would want to keep, only to realise it vanished being pushed over by another unforseen appointment, urgent and demanding tasks or simply distraction. Besides ideas would be promises I have made without a second thought over my commitment and to discover I had as easily forgotten about the matter as I had agreed to do whatever I had promised to. To be frank, this habit has been left unchecked and unchallenged due to this over-pacifying thought that I would get to do it someday. That day would never come. Just like the web page I wanted to do, just like the card I wanted to send, the photos I was to develop, the thank-yous I should say and the list goes on and on and on.
Socrates, in bold fashion, delivered the famous phrase in defense during the case of his trial "the unexamined life is not worth living". He referred to the attitude living life without much consideration of what is good is a waste of time. In fact, what he said was "... to let no day pass without discussing goodness and all the other subjects about which you hear me talking and examining both myself and others, is really the very best thing that a man (or women) can do, and that life without this sort of examination is not worth living .." An interesting remark he made and such a loss for the world to loose a mind like this. (If you are interested to know more of this, follow link http://www.granpawayne.com/courses/EXAMLIFE.HTM for detailed discussion on this philosophy) But then, here comes the tricky part about ourselves - we just don't like to face the truth.
Perhaps this bold philosopher who died for his beliefs would serve as a stark reminder of the deviousness that lurks within.
Let's face it, we're pros in procrastination and experts in forgetfulness, I have done myself in many many times just to wonder and puzzle over "what was that idea I had that day?" and then conveniently forget that I had ever been concerned of my fleeting carelessness. Many days had seen the sincere attempts to remind myself to jot down thoughts and ideas I would want to keep, only to realise it vanished being pushed over by another unforseen appointment, urgent and demanding tasks or simply distraction. Besides ideas would be promises I have made without a second thought over my commitment and to discover I had as easily forgotten about the matter as I had agreed to do whatever I had promised to. To be frank, this habit has been left unchecked and unchallenged due to this over-pacifying thought that I would get to do it someday. That day would never come. Just like the web page I wanted to do, just like the card I wanted to send, the photos I was to develop, the thank-yous I should say and the list goes on and on and on.
Socrates, in bold fashion, delivered the famous phrase in defense during the case of his trial "the unexamined life is not worth living". He referred to the attitude living life without much consideration of what is good is a waste of time. In fact, what he said was "... to let no day pass without discussing goodness and all the other subjects about which you hear me talking and examining both myself and others, is really the very best thing that a man (or women) can do, and that life without this sort of examination is not worth living .." An interesting remark he made and such a loss for the world to loose a mind like this. (If you are interested to know more of this, follow link http://www.granpawayne.com/courses/EXAMLIFE.HTM for detailed discussion on this philosophy) But then, here comes the tricky part about ourselves - we just don't like to face the truth.
Perhaps this bold philosopher who died for his beliefs would serve as a stark reminder of the deviousness that lurks within.
8 Mar 2005
kaleidoscope focal point
Just had an interesting discussion about the Book of Revelation with Ps Simon. It came about as we were watching the news update on tv talking about the progress of the palestinian-israeli peace talk. And as most gripping conversations on Revelation is with when would the rapture take place. It was good reminder and good hope to be assured that as Revelations is about Christ's 2nd coming, it is a matter of time and no matter how much debate and discussion and personal views held on this matter, time will reveal. Conclusion is that above the pre-existing views is the urgency to be prepared and ready.
Epiphany
New word to me. dictionary reads "a revelatory manifestation of a divine being", "~something appears to the subject, as in a suddent flash of recognition", "a revelation or experience of insight". Apparently, it is a Christian festival celebration on Jan 6 in celebration of manifestation fo the divine nature of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi (wise men), also called the "Twelfth Night".
Just noticed that non Jews realised the Messiah while He was in infant form, sharing the rare privilege some of the pious remnant like Simeon and Anna had in knowing the coming of the Saviour. Good thought for me that before Acts (tells me the apostles witnessed to the non Jews after Christ ascended to heaven) Christ was already in His mission since day 1 on earth.
Funny to recall this word today since many years ago reading Adrian Mole. Sue Townsend asked in her words "what's an epiphany?"
Just noticed that non Jews realised the Messiah while He was in infant form, sharing the rare privilege some of the pious remnant like Simeon and Anna had in knowing the coming of the Saviour. Good thought for me that before Acts (tells me the apostles witnessed to the non Jews after Christ ascended to heaven) Christ was already in His mission since day 1 on earth.
Funny to recall this word today since many years ago reading Adrian Mole. Sue Townsend asked in her words "what's an epiphany?"
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